Welcome to the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

So there I was, during the first week at work, stressing and stressing about the bar exam. I was one of those sick individuals who looked up my essays to discover the points of law that I missed and worried and fretted that that would be enough for me to get a failing grade. AARGH! The agony was unbearable. I must explain at this point that no member of my firm who is currently working here has failed the bar. Therefore, I did not want to be the first. All during the first week, me and my fellow first year associated were vetted and congratulated and welcomed, yet all of us felt uneasy, for as much as we hoped to have passed the bar, we honestly had NO IDEA how we had done.

The initial newness of the job had worn off, and the middle of September found me settling into a normal routine of work and going home. I was able to put the bar aside and just look forward to work. I had a career (finally) and was doing something that I enjoyed. The first paycheck arrived, and all I thought was: "Hallelujah! I can pay my mortgage this month." Slowly, however, the specter of bar results began to rear its ugly head. As the time grew nearer, there was a noticeable increase in anxiety from my fellow test takers. I had resolved not to worry. After all, I had another chance to take it before my firm would "suggest" that I find employment elsewhere. At the same time, I dreaded the process of studying for the bar and going through that hell again. My fellow first years and I were hopeful, yet we were tentative.

On Monday, September 29, a message posted on the Illinois Bar website, informing all of us that bar results would be posted late in the afternoon the next day. The message instructed us to wait until we had received our individual notification before checking our bar results. Everyone was on DEFINITE pins and needles the night before the results were to be posted. The air around Chicago was papable with the tension of thousands of young adults whose life courses would be determined by a simple message on a website: pass or fail.

So on Tuesday, September 30, everyone waited.....

and waited.....

and waited......

E-mails flew back and forth among friends " has it posted yet, has it posted yet, are there results yet? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????" Of course, everyone was careful to follow (ignore) the Illinois Bar's instruction to wait until we received an e-mail.

At 4 PM, the collective power of thousands of bar takers succeeded in crashing the servers at the Illinois Bar site. Along with that came the sobering realization that we would NOT be finding out our results for another few hours. *GROAN*

I was getting absolutely NO WORK accomplished, so I went home. I quickly started cooking. Chicken Tikka Masala. Beef Rogan Josh, Chicken curry...anything to get my mind off the results. Time ticked by slowly, and no new e-mails were forthcoming. I waited...

and waited...


and waited...

at 2:30 AM. I received an email. With my heart pounding like a jackhammer, I logged onto the website to read the first line of the letter to me: We are pleased to inform you...

YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES! The 3 years of tortuous work and the worry and the strain were all worth it! I had passed!

And then I had to go to sleep and prepare for the next day at work. This proved to be the beginning of the BEST WEEK EVER. Why the beginning? More on that next time . . .