A Man's Perspective on "Sex and the City"

Eddie correctly pointed out that, in my column on the upcoming summer movie season, I neglected to mention the release of the Sex and the City movie on May 30. At the time, I was unsure if Warner Brothers, the longtime corporate parent of New Line Cinema who had just absorbed New Line into its corporate structure, was planning on delaying the release in order to change the marketing strategy, etc. I also knew that a discussion of the film would not be complete without a discussion of my own views of the series and how watching the series became almost similar to watching a train wreck at times. The following is my own perspective of the series, one MAN's view of what Sex and the City was all about (amusingly, it turns out that it was about a lot more than the subject matter of its title!).

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. I daresay that if you start a conversation with those 4 names in unison, 90% percent of the women in the room will immediately get wistful looks in their eyes. When TV creator Darren Starr (can that REALLY be his name), he of "Beverly Hills 90210" and "Melrose Place" fame, brought "Sex and the City" to HBO, it was before the time of HBO Series. Back then, HBO was not know for quality television programming; it was viewed as a depository for feature films as well as the occasional made-for-HBO film. Sex and the City changed all of that. The pilot episode introduced us to the foursome of women that would take us through the rest of the 1990s and into the 2000s. Each of the women represented an archetype of the XX set. You had Samantha, the sexual feminist in complete control of her life and outwardly confident. Miranda was the career feminist, a woman who dressed like a man in an effort to be taken seriously by the partners of her button down, boys' club law firm. Charlotte was the anti-feminist, a graduate of a WASPY women's college in the Northeast who had been trained since childhood to be a good wife and mother. Finally, you had Carrie, the star of the series whose career and experiences were based on those of Candace Bushnell, the author of the book upon which the series was based. Like Bushnell, Carrie was a columnist living in New York, hanging out with her friends at the hottest and trendiest nightspots. With the exception of Charlotte, there was no emphasis on finding Mr. Right-Mr. RightNow would do. Most of the episodes would focus on the experiences of one or more of the women as they made their way through NY, the dating jungle, career issues, and, ultimately, marriage, cancer, and motherhood.

I never watched the series until 2002. My girlfriend at the time was a devotee of the series, and we would watch the episodes together. I could never convince her that I really wanted to watch the show; she always asked "do you really want to watch it?" Of course I did. The show was, for the most part, well written and provided me with a lot of insight into the female psyche. Here was a show that was not afraid to reveal the insecurities and struggles of single women everywhere, and the show served to demystify the "feminine mystique" to a certain degree, as far as I was concerned. Early on, I decided that my favorite character was Carrie. Miranda was written as too much of a man-hater, and Samantha was just a little too wild. Charlotte was not as strong as she would become later in the series, so I rooted for Carrie. This all ended the day she cheated on Aidan with Big (I am not a fan of people cheating). After that, I tended to view the women with derision. All they seemed interested in is finding ideal men, but they always tended to look at the superficial instead of what really mattered. They seemed to place more emphasis on having a good time than focusing on life itself. I found them all to be irritating and was amazed that so many women I knew and respected identified with one or more of the women on the show.

In retrospect, I was being quite shortsighted. The show has grown on me in reruns, and I see something now that I never saw before. The women were developing before our very eyes, and the things that the women did in sabotaging their own romantic lives mirrored the same things that men do. Whereas the series initially seemed to be a parade of idiot men, the later shows revealed that each woman (with the exception of Carrie) was falling for a mate that, early on in the show's run, they might not have given the time of day. Among all of the angst and struggles, the women also maintained their friendship, and this was the best part of the series. Guys form lasting friendships over experiences such as beer, sports, and video games, but these women forged their friendships over meaningful experiences in their lives.

So, at the end of the series, shiksa Charlotte fell for her Jewish divorce attorney, a bald, soft in the middle sort who loved to sit his hairy ass down on her valuable furniture. He was a good guy. She could not have children, so they adopted. Miranda the hotshot lawyer fell for bartender Steve, a series semi-regular and the father of Miranda's child. Steve was also a good guy. Samantha fell for Smith Jared, a himbo who showed Samantha that she was worth loving (his forgiveness over her indiscretion spoke volumes about relationships in general). Finally, Samantha ended up with Big, something that could have been predicted but his line to her at the end of their first date:

Carrie: So have you?
Big: Have I what?
Carrie: Ever been in love
Big (smiling broadly): Abso-f**king-lutely

Such great writing. So, in the end, I learned to appreciate the ladies of Sex and the City. I enjoyed their various misadventures and complained when the stories became too serious (as with Steve's mom's Alzheimer's storyline). As such, I intend to see it in the theater. Besides the fact that this is the first new story featuring the ladies in 4 years, there is something about being a single guy in a theater sure to be populated with women that tends to appeal to me. Unless the men in the film are masochistic jerks..in which case I will make my way to the exits muttering apologies along the way...