Random Thoughts on the Way into Work

1. Damn-people really DO listen to their iPods at too loud a volume. I see all of these kids (and more than a few adults) blasting away with their earbuds who don't know that one can never replace lost hearing. I then smile because the blaring of their iPods will have repercussions, and I am a firm believer in karma. I then grow sad because I know that these idiots will end up being supported by other taxpayers because OBVIOUSLY they are too stupid to understand the volume control on their iPods. I envision them gesturing to me (because, you know, they will not be able to hear) asking me for spare change. And then I am pissed. I want to rip the earbuds from their ears, stomp on them, and inform them of how their poor taste in music is poisoning the entire El experience. And then I laugh. "El Experience"? The overcrowding, the loud-talkers, and the pervasive smell of pee (sometimes)? The experience was spoiled long before the iPod ever arrived. I retreat back into my own private reverie, ignoring, once again, all of those people surrounding me.

2. When getting off the El, I notice a morbidly obese person (seriously) jostling her way in front of everyone near the exit door of the train. I always get on the same train car because I know that the exit doors, upon my arrival to my destination, will open right at the spot where there are stairs that take me out of the station. So this fat person is right in front of the doors. The train arrives, the doors slide open, and the morbidly obese person "rushes" to the stairs-and then proceeds to gingerly take them step by step-all the while holding up the rest of the rush hour passengers trying to get to work. You know, I get it. I am not exactly a svelte individual, but as Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, "The right to swing one's fist ends where the other man's nose begins." I know that you have the right to gingerly take the stairs. Stairs are treacherous-especially in the wintertime. However, I see no reason for you, oh morbidly obese one, to push your way to the front only to hold everyone else up. Wait. Everyone else is moving so much faster than you anyway that you will not lose any time. I think to myself that I would not feel this way if she had not PUSHED her way in front of everyone as if she was in a hurry. Oh well. Time to exit the station and get breakfast.

3. The Jamba Juice location closest to my office is packed with customers. I am waiting in line, lost in my own thoughts, when I look around. Wow. Every single customer other than myself is a woman. Not only that-they are Hot (Hawt, even). Holy crap. Namby, you need to meet me for breakfast down here one day and see for yourself. Utterly, utterly ridiculous.

4. Mmmm...apple cinnamon steel cut oatmeal...and now my day begins.