My Darkest Days are Ahead of Me...

Hello all:

I have reached a crossroads in my life. After this Spring, nothing will ever be the same again. I know that I will not find the same happiness that I currently do with the simple things in life. A baby's smile...a dog's wagging tale...Namby's mocking laughter...no, there are things that will forever change for me after this Spring.

I have fought it for as long as I can. I have struggled not to have to go down this dark path of oblivion, but with my life being the way it is, I have no choice. As an attorney working the hours that I work and having the quality of life that I have, it is inevitable that I would be forced to make this most distasteful, life altering, and most likely foolhardy decision-the most foolhardy that I have ever made.

I know that my decision will haunt me for the rest of my days, that I will be consumed by the beast that I intend to unleash, and that my decisions today will, in all likelihood, cost me many of the friendships that I now enjoy. I know that, after this Spring, my parents will not recognize me, my brother will likely curse my name, and all others will wonder whatever happened to the sweet-natured guy who was so easy going-the guy who was always there for you.

As I said, I have fought against this decision for months. It has been a difficult time, but in the end, I give up and give in. I cannot fight it anymore. I must embark on this dark path, and I fear that will never return. Let my blog be a lasting memorial to the person that I was, and I hope that some of you will be able to help me through the hell that is to come. I liken this to Frodo's journey-though he survived, he never truly healed from the wound inflicted by the Nazgul on Weathertop. I know that that wound is soon in my future, and all I can do is suck it up and hope for the best.

So what is this dark path that I am taking? Why will I turn into an obsessed person who will soon be a cursing fool (where at present I loathe to curse)? What is the fundamental aspect of my nature that I will be changing for all time?

I am taking up golf. May God have mercy on my soul.

(Betcha thought I was going somewhere COMPLETELY different, didn't you? :-)