How I Intend to Be a Better Person in 2009

Resolutions are interesting things. Most of the time, we look at short term goals that we might have and write those into the resolutions. Very few of us, however, take the coming of a new year as an opportunity to truly do some soul searching to discover what we should inherently change about ourselves. The problem is that the older we get, the more ingrained our bad habits seem to be and the more we struggle to keep up with the changes we want to make. After all, it is so much easier to sit in front of a warm fire than go outside into the bitter Chicago cold and take a long walk. It is so much easier to sit in front of the TV rather than finding activities to do outside the home or to do things around the house. When one lives, as I do, by himself, it can be even harder, as there is no other person to whom you must hold yourself accountable. There is no one there to say "it is time to mop the floors, do the laundry, pay the bills, get up, make breakfast, go to work, go grocery shopping, go to the gym, make appointments, fill the tank, talk to the management company, call the cable company about the service, call your mom, call you dad, call your brother, make travel plans for next year, remember student loan payments, etc." I tend to keep a lot of my tasks in my head, and I have noticed a decrease in my memory pertaining to tasks as I have grown older. Hence, one of the first fundamental changes I would like to make is to keep a planner that outlines my responsibilities on a week-to-week basis, factoring in hard times for grocery shopping, chores, and going to the gym. If I can do anything for 3 weeks without interruption, I have noticed that such things become habits. Organization is the key to success in my book.

The other thing that I want to do in the new year is to be a better friend. This fundamental change comes from my own bad habit of not calling my friends enough. Months can go by before I realize that I have not spoken to 2 of my best friends in the entire world. Now, one might say that they should call me as well, but conversations are a 2 way street. I need to make more of an effort to speak to them on a regular basis (or at least until they tell me to stop) and to be a good friend in other ways. Oftentimes, I struggle with the problem of not wanting to point out issues for fear of antagonizing my friends. I believe the best approach to this issue would be to focus on myself and try to address my own individual issues. After all, who am I to criticize where I have so much to work on?

Hand in hand with this is something that I have been doing for years. For the most part, I do not speak to friends about friends unless EVERYONE knows what is going on. For example, if I have a problem with friend 1, I will NOT complain about friend 1 to friend 2 unless I have already discussed the issue with friend 1 to begin with. Granted, we all need to vent to a third party, but it seems unfair to vent where one party has not had an opportunity to air grievances first. At the same time, I want to refrain to talking to ANYONE but that individual if I am having issues with them. Trust is one of the primary cornerstones for any good relationship, and it can crumble where we speak to others (complain/talk smack/bitch) about issues we may have with friends without being upfront and honest with them. In order to be a better person, I refuse to speak ill of my friends in any way, shape or form. While they may frustrate me at times, I am sure that I frustrate the heck out of them as well, and I know that I would not like it if they were complaining about me without confronting me directly. That is not friendship, is it? So I need to be a better friend in this regard.

Fundamental changes are not easy tp make, but I think that I am headed in the right direction, 2008 was hard on a lot of my friends, but all in all, it treated me pretty well on balance. I hope that I will continue to learn and grow in 2009. I look forward to having all of you along for the ride!