Monday, January 26, 2009

Things Happen That Take You By Surprise

I have a very good friend. Let's call her Eve. Eve and I became fast friends in law school. I remember the day that it happened. It was in Civil Procedure class. Our professor must have watched "Paper Chase" one too many times, for he fancied himself John Houseman. He would chose a different victim every class, and for that entire class, you were his bitch. It did not matter if you struggled or how long it took you to figure out his question-he stayed on you the entire time. We were all intimidated by this professor. The scary part was that we never knew who he was going to call on. Every day, those of us who he had not called on would wait with baited breath, for he would only put you on call once during the semester. Early on in the semester, it was open season. So many victims for him to chose from.

The first semester of law school is a scary time anyway. You are trying to figure so many things out, but you do not want anyone to figure out that you do not have any earthly idea what you are doing. You worry about being found out-about being proven an idiot in front of your peers to the point where they will point and whisper about you as you sit in the student lounge. Of course, what we failed to realize is that we ALL felt that way. When our Civ Pro professor had his victim, we all felt sorry for the victim because NO ONE knew the cases as he wanted us to. EVERYONE looked like an idiot, even the brightest among us.

Enter Eve. Eve was one of his first victims, and it happened early on in the semester. He had a field day with Eve, but she acquitted herself quite admirably-I daresay more than anyone else could have managed with the impossible case that day. I noticed Eve leaving class dejected-I knew that she must have felt awful in spite of the fact that she did relatively well. This was still early on in the semester when we did not know our classmates, but I took it upon myself to approach her and say: "you did really well in Civ Pro today-I doubt I could have even come up with ONE coherent answer, but you danced with the devil and beat him."

The look of gratitude that flooded over her face was one that I would never forget. Her self doubt was washed away, and in its place was a tentative confidence. She asked me "Do you REALLY think so?" I nodded "absolutely-everyone in the class was impressed-including me. Way to go."

I left it at that. A couple of days later I was in the library, studying the maligned case of "Pennoyer v. Neff." The best way to describe that case would be as a hazing ritual that Civ Pro professors put their students through. I was at a study carrel, and I noticed Eve walking toward me.

"Do YOU understand this case?" she asked.

"Nope," I answered. With that, we figured it out together. I found out a lot about her-how she came from a large family, how her boyfriend had a tough upbringing but was a whiz with complicated mathematics (think Good Will Hunting), how her parents were 20 years apart in age, and how she was almost wait listed from our law school. We became very good friends, and she was one of my first real friends that first year of law school. She and her boyfriend Wally came to my first giant law school party, and i immediately developed a mancrush on him-he was (and is) such a great guy. Eve ended up with one of the highest GPAs from our section after first year, and she was a shoo-in for law review. She was brilliant, but she always had time to help others. She went to school for public interest, but when she was offered a job with one of the top 50 firms in the WORLD (yes, the WORLD), she saw an opportunity to pay off her debt and save so that she could pursue pro bono work for the needy. She took the job and for the last 6 months, she has been succeeding at that.

Things were tough the last year of law school, for Eve's father was diagnosed with cancer. Eve spent many weekends in Minnesota with her family, visiting her father and comforting her Mom. Several times, Eve did not know if her time with her father would be her last. During all of this time, she still remained the same awesome, smart, sassy, sexy young woman who I considered as close to me as a little sister. I could talk to her about anything, and she could do the same with me.

After graduation, Wally and Eve moved in together in a fabulous apartment right in downtown Chicago. The two of us would get together on occasion for a quick lunch and to catch up on things. She still traveled on the weekends to see her Dad, who, thanks to a tragic setback, had to be put into a retirement nursing home. 2009 was shaping up to be an incredible year for Eve. This was the year that she would realize so many of her dreams. She was succeeding as an attorney at a top 50 firm, her relationship with her awesome boyfriend was going well, and she had her eyes on a goal.

This weekend, Eve was traveling back to the airport in Minnesota after having visited her parents. She was driving along the road and passed out at the wheel. She woke up to find herself in a ditch (I'll bet you thought this was going to end differently). Eve was confused as to what happened.

This evening, I was in Jewel doing some grocery shopping. Eve tried calling, but I was in a bad area for cell phone reception. She left a message, but I did not listen to it. I called her back as soon as I got to the car.

"Hi Eve!" I said. "How are you? Sorry about that. I had bad reception."

Eve: "That's OK...so, did you listen to my message?"

Me (still happy): "No, I figured I would just call you back. What's up"

Eve: "Well, I was calling my closest friends because I figured they should know..."

My heart sank. Oh no, I thought, Eve's dad died. I steeled myself for the bad news...and received even worse news.

Eve: "So I kind of have a brain tumor...."

Silence...what do you say when someone you care about tells you something like this? I immediately started asking questions, trying to figure out some way the doctors could be wrong and some way that this was all some sort of macabre joke.

It wasn't. Eve had a brain tumor. Best case scenario is full recovery. Worst case is that she dies, Somewhere in the middle are 2 other options: 1) they could remove the tumor, but since it is so close to the speech center of the brain, she would be rendered unable to speak for the rest of her life or 2) she could live with the tumor and live for another 10-15 years.

Goddamn it...SHE IS ONLY 26.....

All of a sudden, my own problems at work seem so small. All of a sudden, I felt the need to talk to my brother and my parents to remind them how much I love them. All of a sudden, I want to tell my friends how much I care for all of them. All of a sudden, I am wondering: Why her and not me...she is such a great person...this is NOT fair...

Eve seems to be in good spirits, but I am sad and worried. There are so many other things I am worried about tonight, this and one other thing that I will not speak about here (some of you know). Everything else can go to hell because everything else does not matter.

What matters is that my friend, a sweet young girl of 26 with her whole life ahead of her, has a brain tumor. And I will be damned if I am not there for her, Wally, and the rest of her family for whatever they need.

2 comments:

Overflowing Brain said...

I'm remarkably sorry about your friend.

And also, REALLY sorry that you weren't linked. I could not remember your url last night, but, if you look, you've now got a proper shout-out on the blog.

And yes, I really really did enjoy the cake and DNA trivia. Or what I remember of it. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. Not how I thought this post would end at all. I will beam positive thoughts from the nation's capital to Chicago. I hope Eve comes through like a champion.