My Love-Hate Relationship With Facebook

It all started my first year of law school. I was sitting in class (paying attention), and I noticed that many of my fellow first years were fixated on this web page that had photos on it. I was able to pick up the name of the application-something called Facebook. Back then, one had to have a university-based e-mail address in order to sign on (translation-no old people), but since I was able to slip under this barrier as a 34 year old graduate student, I decided to see what the fuss was about. What I discovered was a true monument to...well..MONUMENTS. A place for people to have their space a la My Space but better organized. A site where people could indulge the hidden (and not-so-hidden) voyeurs that resided within and at the same time could brag about how great they looked, the relationships they were in, and how many people were their "friends." I remember waiting on pins and needles for some people to accept my friend requests (I know, lame, but remember that law school is, in the words of Ms. Sharpe, "like high school with alcohol"), and I remember the brief feeling of self worth when one was accepted. Of course, nothing was better than RECEIVING a friend request because that just meant that someone WANTED to be your friend to the point of SEEKING YOU OUT! Quite the ego stroke.

Now, over time, I started doing a few more things through Facebook. It was a great way to keep track of people's birthdays, so I made it a point to attempt to stay up and be the FIRST person to wish them Happy Birthday. I started using the Event application to set up movie viewings and invite people to the annual Halloween blow-out. I also LOVED writing on people's walls. It was a nice way to communicate and get communication back. And then...it started becoming the BEST way to procrastinate. I wasted untold hours on Facebook...checking every 5 minutes or so because SOMETHING had to have changed, right? My friends grew from 10 to 100 to over 200 quite quickly. Do I really KNOW all of these people? No. I had put up so many pictures from my various events that I never stopped to consider how much of my privacy I had willingly given up for the sake of feeling good about my ego. I started to realize that Facebook makes it TOO easy not to maintain personal contact. I have this theory that man only ventured from his cave because he needed to find food and companionship. With the advent of the internet, after millenia of evolution, man has finally reached the point where he need never leave his cave. We have Peapod for groceries and Amazon for everything else. Facebook covers the social needs of man quite well (as do MMORPGs such as World of Warcraft). While all of this technology makes keeping in touch with people "easier", is that necessarily a good thing? Are we losing the ability to personally interact?

A few weeks ago, when I was contemplating the cessation of my blog (not gonna happen, so you are all stuck with my rants), I actually removed my Facebook profile for a week. Just a week. See, Facebook had tried to change the terms of use to read that they owned ALL of the content that we put on their site. I relented however, as having a minimal profile on Facebook with no pictures and even less information proved to be less taxing than fielding e-mails from people wondering why I "de-friended" them when, in fact, I had not. I did, however, vow to not depend on Facebook for most social interaction. I abhor communication strictly via text or internet. I understand that sometimes, this is more convenient for both parties, but I feel that it should be done as a means of last resort as opposed to the first option. I will admit that I was flattered when so many people wrote on MY wall for my birthday, and I made it a point to individually contact each person in turn to thank them (none of this blanket "thanks to everyone for their birthday greetings!" status nonsense). However, I am not going to do it anymore myself: no more wishing anyone Happy Birthday on Facebook. It is my own thing, and I do not begrudge anyone who does it. Maybe I am just being old fashioned, but I need to take a stand. Technology is forcing me to withdraw more and more from social interaction.

Now, what is amusing about this post is what happened after I started writing it. You see, I went to work early this morning to get some work done. After 4 hours at the office, I (yup) checked Facebook and found that one of my friends from high school was in town for a wedding and was in my neighborhood to boot! Thanks to Facebook, I was able to meet up with my friend and we talked as if 20 years had NOT passed since the last time we saw each other (ouch-I am old). It also turned out to be a business write off, as the husband of the couple whose wedding my friend was in town for is founding a software company in Chicago and needs an IP attorney. Can you say "business lunch"? In truth, my afternoon was only made possible by Facebook, for it was via Facebook that I was able to find her and, eventually, meet in Chicago when she lives in Raleigh, NC. I now have an open invite to stay with her and her husband the next time I am in Raleigh, and I extended the same invitation to her and her husband the next time THEYare in Chicago.

Maybe Facebook is a good thing in moderation. I dunno. Do you have any thoughts?